Saturday, March 12, 2005

Am I crazy or can you see improvements

Now there are probably those of you who after reading this mindless swill, which I’ve written below that think, I’m totally bonkers. You know sometimes when I ask myself why I’m writing this one-sided monologue of a blog that I don’t wonder myself. I thought when I started that it would be away for those who care about my work and me (hi mom) to get a reflection of how I’m doing both as a person and as an artist. Now doubt is creeping in and I ask myself are these not just the machinations of someone who’s gone totally crazy. Maybe, I’m not sure but please let me know what you think.

Then there are other days that I look at how far I’ve come. I mentioned using psycho-pharms or medication in the post below and maybe the results of these tells the real tale of my sanity. My doctors tell me I’m doing well and if I look back at my history indeed maybe, I am doing better.

However, I’d like to postulate a question for the 2 of you that read this blog (no not you mom), okay 1 of you then. Here are some pictures from my history. After seeing them, I’d like to ask: are they a pathology of insanity or a testament of growth?

The first is of me as a baby, before polio and medications. Yes, the doctor slapped my mom and not me when I was born.

Me as a baby - Am I not cute?

The next is of me as an adolescent while using drugs of an illegal nature and most definitely in the higher ranks of narcotics. I’m not much of one for symmetry or balance and after looking at this picture, I think you will understand why.

Me as a teen - didn't I develop perfectly?

The last picture is of me today, all doped up on Novo-Citalopram: legally of course.

Me today - Don't I seem balanced?

So what do you think? Do you see an improvement or am I just wrestling with reality. Is all this mindless gibberish I’ve been writing bringing me to a higher state of enlightenment, or am I just tumbling down the abyss of terminal retardedness?
Truth be told, I can’t tell the difference but that could be because the world is upside down to me.

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On a happy note: Bolton 0 – 1 Arsenal in the FA cup ¼ final today means they’ll advance to the semi-final stage. This might be the only silverware they win this year but I’m also rooting that they place second in the EPL, ahead of Manchester United - known more affectionately by me as ManUre. Go Gunners go.

2 Comments:

Blogger hokkaidoabbey said...

You've come a long way.

2:17 a.m.  
Blogger Gerard Pas said...

Thank you! Yes I have - to God be the Glory!

3:54 p.m.  

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