Friday, March 11, 2005

NUNS - GUNnerS and habits

Okay enough about soccer for the time being. Yeah right, just like the statement this is my last cigarette from a three pack a day smoker. More like this is my last cigarette before the next one. No, I do not smoke cigarettes, just whacky tabacky for me.

Well this is my last post on soccer before the next one then. All this talk about loosing. My trust worthy catholic guilt kicking in. Hanging on to hope. The stress. This has all cultivated some rather strange feelings in me.

On the topic of religion. My catholic guilt actually has no resolution in my life anymore because I became Calvinist long ago. Now it is Calvinist Guilt and the only thing they feel any remorse for is money: a Dutchman can buy from a Jew, sell to a Scott, and still make a profit, being a good example. Besides, I don’t have any money to speak of so all of this is mere hyperbole. Religion, like sport is not worth fighting for unless someone is trying to stop you from exercising it. Truthfully, I am not a total Calvinist either as I don’t really like the idea of organized religion. I believe in God with all my heart and hopefully in deeds as well. I am just a Christian, unlike sports I don’t really think God cares what membership or club card you hold. The rest is purely academic but I love a good dialectical discourse as well as the next – so bring it on, as long as its not just polemics, which goes nowhere anyway.

As for all this talk about sport and religion, well I’ve come to a realization, a paradigm shift if you’d like, a moment of pure cogitation. I’m going to take up another sport, which will hopefully accommodate both streams of interest. I’m going to take up hunting and join a hunting club, as seen in the picture below which also reveals the religious link. Yup, Gerard the hunter, the male Dianna. My name, Gerard from the Teutonic means Spear Power or Spear Thrower. Jeez, you know what else, I look marvelous in a florescent-day-glow orange vest and cap. Where is that confounded rabbit? I killed the wabbit, I killed the wabbit. Who say’s you can’t kill three birds with one stone – my rifle does, lol :)

Nuns with Guns - the club I want to belong to and I also have a habit or two or three...

Now I do have some worries about joining a gun club, because if like soccer clubs they have hooligan fans, what do they do to express they’re disgruntled behavior. Oh, well like the bumper sticker says “Insured by Smith & Weston” - as frightening a thought as that of a Calvinist bill/debt collector!

Wait a minute, I am a Canadian and we have rules about guns here – no one should have one unless you’re in a gun club and registered, a native or a legitimate hunter – no handguns allowed unless by very strict rules. No United States of America, 2nd Amendment, Constitutional protection here. We just say no to guns unless you want to go out and kill Bambi’s mother for food because that is okay. Clubbing seals is also allowed because you don’t need to use a gun, you don’t even need to be hungry :(
Wait, hold the presses, I could no longer kill Bambi’s mother as I could bludgeon a baby seal to death. I’m into love, peace and all that feel good shite.

Okay, so maybe it’s another sport for me then. Looks like I’m going to be practicing Cyber Sports on the Net like I’ve already done for years. Yes, I am a cyber athlete just like the one below whose clan I’m hoping on joining.

The inter-net gaming clan I want to join as I also have a habit, or two, or three...
Now all I need to know is what Cyber Athletes, hooligan fans do to exorcise their demons? Do they send spam bombs, vomit in your floppy drives? Someone help me here!

At this point, some of you might be wondering if I’m not more of a goner than the Gooner or Gunner I claim to be. I have just came back from visiting my doctor who says that he’d like me to stay on the meds and together with a compliment of psychological analysis things should work out. Damn, I’ve been on some kind of meds, legal or otherwise, since I was 13 years old and they’re still holding out hope 37 years later. Another reason not to get a gun, stick to the joystick, and mouse: you’ve never read “Man killed by Mouse or Joystick”. No NUNsense!
I always choose for life, always! Pain is my Muse and that’s why I sometimes change my last name to PAinS.
Stay tuned!
ps. It snowed another 2 to 3 cm. (1 inch) last night - you could see the wabbit twacks in the snow this morning.


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