as the sky is grey - so is my spirit

I started this day as I have the most of the better three days before it, feeling sick and nauseas, spewing bile. I felt down and then started thinking about all the things that I must do. The family, our gardens, the monastery, my own art, our house, New York, all screaming for attention. I feel rundown and despondent to their shrill crying, at times thinking them to be the “call of mermaids” mesmerizing me into peril. I attempted to address some of the work; what little choice does the Shepard have but to find the lost lamb. Muttering indignities under my breath, I went into the garden to cut down last years tall ornamental grasses from my spring beds. It was a pleasant enough job on such a grey day with the clouds of heaven weeping small drops of rain onto our green earth.

As I worked, I meditated on my position, first thinking: that as the sky is grey, so is my spirit! My spirit undoubtedly clouded by my own myopic self-indulgence in pain. As I thought, I worked and as I worked, I began to contemplate what makes me grateful for the trials of life when they are successful. The first image that awoke from the malevolent morning that was of joy. Just the day before, while planting the Pansies in the post below, I watched my daughter coming down the street illuminated by late afternoon’s golden light. She was wearing a smile for me that grew when she saw me. Need I say more? I am still feeling that smile.

Like nature, which has both its cruelty and its kindness, so was the manifestation of my day: hovering on the fluxes of joy and regret. I thank God for these days of melancholy because they make you know that you are truly alive.

My gift to you then dear reader, are these rarities of the past. These antiquated medicinal treasures from our glorious apothecary in the forest.

Lungwort blooming under our stand of Maple trees.

Lungwort (Pulmonaria officinalis, Ephedra (Ephedra sinica),

The Lungwort formerly held a place in almost every garden in Britain, under the name of 'Jerusalem Cowslip'; and it was held in great esteem for its reputed medicinal qualities in diseases of the lungs. Lungwort a large, green, leaf like lichen (Lobaria pulmonaria) that grows on trees and rocks in damp subalpine regions. It was once common in Britain. However, atmospheric pollution has caused it to become rare, and it is now found in humid forests on the west coasts of Scotland and Ireland, where it often attains a great size.

Fortunately, it’s also found in my backyard here in the other London, the one in Canada. What an engrossing plant - with its pink and blue flowers growing from the same stem and its white speckled blemishes painted on all its leaves (sometimes called Boy-Girl Flower because of its pink and blue blooms). This one is definitely on the top of my spring flower list.

It also brought me some element of joy like the perpetual smile of the Buddha - though more fleeting and ephemeral.

Such subtle beauty to end any time of remiss.